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Posts Tagged ‘Arctic Mice’

The world seems perfectly balanced between voyeurs and exhibitionists. This I learned from a post long ago, the Analysis of a Front Porch.

Stats have it that if y’all came to party at my house, you’d be peeking in my medicine cabinet, too. I’ll save that for another day.

I’m still trying to figure out how you’d react to the post that hasn’t yet happened about what’s in my freezer, like the box of Arctic Mice.

Meanwhile, the other day at work, it occurred to me that my top desk drawer, while entirely familiar and rational to me, might be unconventional by your standards. Perhaps I’m wrong.

(Keep in mind I work in a locked children’s psychiatric facility)

You be the judge and play a little I Spy:

1.) Plastic sword that went to a Ninja figure (no weapons allowed on unit, even pretend ones)

2.) Pennies confiscated from illicit poker game (my comment to the offenders as I busted up the party: “What is this, Friday night at the Elks Club?”)

3.) Miniature AK-47, a generous donation that came with an action figure (compliments of the benevolent and well-meaning and upscale local ladies’ charitable club which shall remain unnamed)

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For you peeping Toms, the rest is pretty self-explanatory, broken down into convenient anally-retentive categories:

Monetary Goods:

  • Visa gift cards left over from Santa (read: generous Angel Tree donors who gave Visas instead of actual gifts); most partially used and now in my possession because the recipients used them to buy contraband (also now in my possession) the first time around.
  • Weekly allowances according to level earned via point system. Don’t you wish we’d get paid every week according to our virtues instead according to status quo?
  • Well-hidden bag of special, magic, golden coins used by the unit’s Tooth Fairy (me).

Office Supplies:

  • Printer Ink (someone at HP is getting filthy rich)
  • Rolodork (does anyone else still own one in this day and age? I never use mine…going to donate it to a time capsule)
  • Spare keys to the kingdom
  • Plastic paper clips (no metal allowed! can turn into useful tools! weapons! instruments of mass destruction!)
  • 2 rubber  bands (these are at a premium at my workplace for some reason, which is fine & dandy with me since I will forever be traumatized by rubber bands after my ruthless big brothers used me on a regular basis as their moving target)
  • Miscellany clips and other titillating office supplies
  • Batteries (kids unit – gotta have plenty on hand at all times to prevent meltdowns)
  • Mini-flashlight (in case the power goes out during a major hurricane)
  • Unknown tool that comes in handy for all manner of breaking into various and sundry things (such as when a child in a heightened state of petulance decides to jam something into my office door keyhole so I can’t escape…also useful for malfunctioning toys which require a tiny screwdriver that our maintenance dudes never seem to have handy in time to prevent a child’s panic attack)

Personal Items:

  • Extra badge clips (fireman putting out fire, angel, beach umbrella, ho-hum company-issued clip (not pictured: smiley sun))
  • Emergency lipstick (I never know these days when our beloved Fox-TV PR gal is going to whisk into my office with her camera and ask for an impromptu quickie video clip or photo-op)
  • Body lotion (used often, daily…God get us out of winter in this hemisphere!)
  • Emergency earrings (ladies, how many times have you rushed out the door without your makeup or jewelry and felt utterly naked?  ‘Nuff said….)
  • Pocket mirror (doubles as cool reflective toy to use with kids when we turn out the lights and play flashlight tag)
  • Gum (there is floss in there too, if you look close enough – oral hygiene is great to have in the workplace)
  • Second box of gum that has no gum in it (it has more batteries, a tube of hydrating goo and a Post-It with critical info I need on hand at any given moment
  • Feminine hygiene products (you never know. Trust me after this last 1/2 marathon one week ago today– YOU NEVER KNOW)
  • Chocolate kisses (confection affection from one who knows me best)
  • Satsuma orange – local orange picked off the tree in our yard. Sweet. Juicy. 70 calories. Vitamin C. Cancer prevention. Good stuff. Great snack.

So…what’s in YOUR drawer at your work or home office?

Anything interesting?

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