Okay, so on my commute there’s this billboard. Actually, a few of them.
But the one I skewer consider today advertises a plastic surgery clinic in a nearby beachy resort community. For months we drivers have beheld the fruits of the surgeons’ labors in the form of a white-bikinied babe on the local beach in a reclined pose which implies that she will be very sorry by sundown that she allowed herself to do this photo shoot on such a sun-soaked, SPF-ridden day. I’m sure the color “lobster bisque” provided a delightful contrast to the (who on earth actually wears an all-) white bikini.
Lest this smack early on of jealousy, nay – I also don bikini (with some white) and recline and relax. I just rarely drape the back of my forearm dramatically over my forehead when I’m on the beach. Everybody knows this increases the volume of sweat produced on the face, leading to additional sunburn and discomfort. I also don’t let my boobs hang out of my bikini bra. This is a family place, k? That’s why the “Girls Gone Wild” people stay on THAT side of the border and their camera crews were run out of our town by our trusty folks and never came back.
Buh-bye.
No pics, sorry – today I racked up a record number eight on my list of attorneys who have materialized into my life (all for my doing good, be it known – nothing shady!) – and I’m not in a hurry to come under any question for anything smacking of libel or related accusations.
So, anyhoo, today the same advertiser changed pictures. Instead of the reclining white-bikinied, big-boobed chick, suddenly there was this image of a middle-aged man standing in front of the mirror, tugging on a tussle of his hair like a bewildered chimpanzee about to attack his own image.
“Hair Replacement,” the billboard now screamed in digital diligence, along with the same phone number which had accompanied white bikini-chick all summer.
My question is, why discriminate between the “before/man-in-crisis” photo and the “after/woman-in-heat (double-entendre intended)?” What’s the deal here? Are they implying that men are so stupid that they have to see one of their kind at their wits’ end in order to call the number on the billboard, to ensure they never reach the maniacal point this poor guy did?
And what about the ladies? Would the marketing results be different had they shown white-bikinied chick in a “before” pose, standing near-naked in front of her full mirror in the walk-in closet, head cocked and tears in her eyes as she used both hands to pull up her sagging, puckered B-boobs and 20 pounds of overweight to mourn the effects of time+gravity?
Just wonderin’…
Southern Sea Muse 